Securan Military Junta
Cosmical Rabbit and the Ashah Imperium
I generally play games as one of the good guys. Light Side,
Paragon and Unlawful Good (my Elder Scrolls characters tend to have sticky
fingers..) are how I experience most story-based games. In empire builders like
Civ and Distant Worlds, I tend to error on the side of Democracy for those
sweet, delicious technology bonuses.
After all, technology is 1337.
So in the interest of mixing it up, I’ve decided this Feat
or Fail will be a Military Dictatorship in Distant Worlds: Universe. In the
same manner, the map will be a Ring, which despite the eloquent postulation on
their worth by one Beyoncé, I have never played that type of game map. We will
also be the Securans, which will be my first attempt as those illustrious aliens.
The neighborhood, minus sweaters and in-door shoes
Although it might surprise you, I’ve played just shy of 250
HOURS of Distant Worlds, and have never played with the Main Story Missions
turned on. I know, I know, insanity. I don’t have time to get into my Treatise
Against Quests today, but suffice it to say, I don’t like being railroaded by
my video games. I resist efforts to tell me
what the story of the game is. I like those gameplay stories to naturally
unfold. In this game I will play with the Main Story.
In any case, here are the House Rules for this game: As a
military dictatorship, I shouldn’t be making cozy deals like Mining or
Refueling rights with representative governments. I’m also not going to care
much about “citizen happiness,” unless of course to send troops at their
unhappy faces. Additionally, if I am to come in contact with any insectoid
aliens, I am to consider them a blight and war with them. Everyone will begin
as a “Starting” tech level, because sometimes I wonder if the AI just can’t get
out of Pre-Warp fast enough to make it a game or not.
Holding onto your homeworld, cuz it's the only one you got
As it would turn out, none of that would matter. I got
exactly none of the main quest. Conquered very little of the Ring, and all
around lost my dictatorship to some wannabe monarch back home. Anyway,
once I discovered my place in the galaxy (lower right side), I didn’t think it
would be long before my jackbooted armies would be marching all over. As though
to immediately put my junta in its place, nearly every single civilization I
encountered imposed trade sanctions on the Ashah Junta.
As a result, chromium and nekros stone shortages begin in
earnest. Then the first Rotean war. I thought I was on a roll by destroying one
of the spider’s colonies, but when their fleets arrived, I had only one ship
return to my home system (the Vigor). Then the spiders attacked the home system
and laid it to waste. I battled them back and sent them home, after I had lost a colony or three of my own. Later I would
retake some of the systems I lost, but in the meantime the Roteans began to
classically runaway train.
Note: the friendly red on the left is a space spider rave
In desperation, I launched an attack against a smaller
neighbor in the northest, the little furballs in green. Although I was
successful at taking several of their colonies, I could not muster a large
enough army to take out their homeworld’s garrison. Thus we took a peace treaty
after several massive failed attempts. It was the moment I knew that the
expansion had ended, for good.
No, we spent the peoples money on war, and the tools for it! What receipts?
The economy, during and after these wars, was nothing short
of basket case. Pirates would come along asking for tribute, then blow up some
things and leave after they saw our books. It was during this time that an
insurrection occurred that replaced the once proud and petty military
dictatorship with a newly proud and petty monarchy, from one of the admirals or
something, I don’t even remember.
Luckily, we had kept mostly good terms with at least one
other civilization: Vekundur. They called us up and offered us a bailout (a
pretty huge one, at that) in exchange for a mining station. What was that
station? What resource was it mining? No idea! Check out those commas! The new
monarch is gonna get a whole new wardrobe now! Reckless, and I mean, truly “the
prices don’t matter” kind of spending begins throughout the Ashah systems.
You can have any station for that pile of credits!
So we bail ourselves out of debt, invest in a massive navy,
and take a look at the stats. At this point, I need to expand west and fight
the Roteans off the number one spot if I have any chance of winning this game,
so they have to be the one I look. Then I realize what I’m sure I knew a long
time ago: it was hopeless. I have just under 8k military power ranking and the
Roteans have 49k without breaking a sweat. No skywalker can help this…
Condition: pwnt
But I learned some things during this play through:
- Not a fan of Ring maps, sorry Queen B.
- Military dictatorship and Securans don’t synergize very well
- F with space spiders and populous furballs at your own risk
- Military dictatorships suck, and I am really okay with that
- I am terrible at this game that I love.
Second place, last place, your rankings mean nothing to the Ancients!
I would like to give myself an honorary Feat for being able to
keep control of at least my home system during an absolute onslaught from the
Roteans. But that’s cheap, and everyone reading this knows damn well that this
is most certainly:
Verdict: FAIL
